I smell stomach acid.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
