That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
