no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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