Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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