Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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