did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
