Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
