Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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