in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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