On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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