Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
