i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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