Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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