about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
