I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I wish i was in the wii world.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
