i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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