Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
