Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There r osticjed everywhere
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
