I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you would pick up someone in the library
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
