I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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