Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
