it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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