Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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