I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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