if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
