wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
