just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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