I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Randomize