Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Randomize
