Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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