Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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