What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize