So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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