i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
