i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
