Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
