My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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