I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Randomize
