It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
