Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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