mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
