That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
