You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
