were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
