I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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