I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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