just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize