Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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