I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
