This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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