Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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