I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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