More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
