her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
