Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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(937): View more from Ohio

wtf. i just found you're porn stash.

(1-937): View more from Ohio

u like it?

(937): View more from Ohio

NOT THE POINT.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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(586): View more from Michigan

apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat

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(417): View more from Missouri

Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.

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