I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
