...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
