Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
