when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
