Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
