all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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