like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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